Godspamit Brooklyn

Per Grub Street:

We're not typically fans of Spam, but Brooklyn Wok Shop has concocted a gourmet version of the canned meat that sounds fantastic: Pork cured for three days and served with rice and garlic-chive taro fries. [Grub Street]

Gourmet Spam. Wonder if it will get its own indie off-off-Broadway musical counterpart as well.

Goddamnit Brooklyn.

Hamageddon

I don't want to knock The Great Googa Mooga too much; after all, I'll be attending and it sounds pretty damn awesome overall:

Approximately 75 food vendors, 35 brewers, 30 winemakers and 20 live music performances will be on hand to help us relish some of life’s greatest pleasures—gathering with friends and neighbors to eat, drink, talk, laugh, dance, linger and just . . . be together.

Yep, awesome.

Having said that .... I just got an email announcing the addition of - among other things - a "Beer & Bacon Tasting", which I assume from looking at their website is part of "Hamageddon" (though I guess it could also be part of the "UrBARN Experience").

Goddamnit Brooklyn.

Manhattan Koan #1

Come on, Beacon, we already have a Brooklyn

And reality has jumped the shark at last:

Rees, 39, began Artisan Pencil Sharpening [seriously], based in Beacon, N.Y., in the summer of 2010. For $15, he will use a variety of instruments to sharpen a pencil, usually General Pencil Company’s Semi-Hex #2 pencils, unless the buyer supplies one. He sharpens the pencils for the specific needs of everyone from journalists to cartoonists to contractors.

Goddamnit Beacon.

"Condiment Revolution"

All I have to say about this is they better keep mustardayonnaise on the shelf (and none of that mayostard crap).

Goddamnit Brooklyn.

The original inspiration for this website ....

And here it is.

Yep.

Goddamnit Brooklyn.

What is this [insert brand name here] of which you speak?

THE SCENE: Brooklyn hipster health food store with shelf after shelf of special brand vitamins

Me:  Excuse me, do you have anything like Cold-Eeze?
Hipster Employee #1:  Cold .... ease?
Me:  Yeah, you know, Cold-Eeze?
HE#1: (blank stare)
Me:  Something with vitamin C and zinc? A lozenge?
HE#1: (in comes the snark) Well, we have vitamin C.  And we have zinc.  I've never heard of Cold-Eeze before.
Me:  Ummmm .... oooooka-
Hipster Employee #2:  Yeah, we have it.  Here it is. (pulls bottle of "Ultimate Zinc-C Herbal Lozenges" off of a shelf located almost directly behind HE#1)

Goddamnit, Brooklyn.